Drank Chats 🤷🏾‍♀️

” You look familiar” he gazed, moving closer. I had just gotten in and didn’t want no disturbance. Not tonight!

” I hear you’re a radio host.” That got me. Well, you may guess. Len was seated on the back right, staring, waiting to land on him. ” Am here with my guy, you don’t want to get into trouble.”
He reached for his pockets and got a card, a business card. ” You might want to visit, don’t ignore this”
“Let me see.” It read Pastor Jeremy. I can’t remember last when I stepped a foot on any holy ground, or house if you may. No, I wasn’t planning to on this. I slipped it in my purse and continued to sip. He’s good. Well, he’s weird. That’s how he fishes? That won’t work on me.

Club Hellz was known to many, is, maybe, to us drink-aholics. It was one of those hell of weeks. Everyone getting into your nerves and things just not working out. Jeremy had called for an on-air-interview but I wasn’t going to slot him. Not a chance in hell!

A toast to kingdom conquering! Shall we?🥂🍻

HELLO 2020!!!

Fireworks!Shouts!Ululations!Screams!Joy all over!

It’s 2020 people, we made it. This post was to be up on the New Year’s Eve but procrastination caught up with a sister.

Celebrate all!

Let’s see what this year got us. Take care all.

#Blogmas Day 9: Moving to London/Relocating/Plans

Am just looking at some receipt papers I have been collecting and they are ridiculous. Am a spend thrift and I agree. A lot go to food and clads, sadly. This year I think I’ve ate tonnes of my earning and even delved into my savings🤦‍♀️. Welcome to my life.

So, looking at these papers, am just wondering how much I’d have saved and how far I could be now. I need some financial advice aki. Am just thinking how this Holiday I could have taken myself to some nice place(like London) and just enjoy travelling but a sister can’t save for such a trip😔 SERIKALI TAFADHALI!!! Am looking at some nice solo travel reviews a couple of my favorite bloggers have done and am just seated in my chapati-sized-mattress looking at my money in receipts like damn!😭😭😭

An aunt hinted at some exchange programs Universities do and am really thinking deep about it. There’s one thing about planning to move far away from home and also another to make your mind. I don’t know what stage I am at but am really thinking about it. I’ve researched a bit about the same but I need to take a leap of faith and settle my mind in it.

Did I tell you guys that Christmas time is a time with mixed feelings? Yes! A feeling to be free from thinking and a feeling full of thinking for a brand new year. Am in between. OK, I didn’t know how caption this post but am not moving neither relocating but I really want to. I want to have that push/feeling of being really responsible and proactive.

Let’s just say a sister is having some deep thought moment and is super stressed about the forthcoming new year and what it has. I think I’ll end my #BlogmasBlogs today and take some time to think through things.

Am really grateful to everyone who thought it wise to check out every single post I uploaded, shared and left a thought or two about them. THANK YOU! You made it fun and am glad I was part of it. I suck at following rules so am breaking them one more time. Starting the Blogmas late and finishing early.

I WISH Y’ALL MERRY CHRISTMAS AND MAY 2020 BE A BLESSING TO Y’ALL.

Cheers💞

#Blogmas Day 8 Chop Off Day/ Going Bald/Christmas Fever

8th Day of still embarrassing my family, friends and even myself in this platform😆. Si ni life! Am loving this Blogmas thingie. Can we prolong it till Jan? Totally in love. Plus seems the seasons came with loads of blessings.

So, today I decided to go visit one of my favorite Barbershops I have known in my hood for the past about 4 years. Yeah, I was going for a shave. Clean shave this time(No photos yet) Mind you, my darling Afro kinky hair was progressively germinating and fighting through the harsh conditions to serve my box head. I felt like I needed a change. Or should I just say I have issues with my scalp and every time I go to the salon I don’t find qualified personnel to understand I have a serious issue. By the way, why do some saloonists insist on applying heat on your hair even after resisting?

So, you know like those places where you go and find yourself involved in an argument you didn’t even know how it started? Yeah, I was almost yelling to the top of my voice after a guy literally insulted an artist I’ve loved ever since. OK! Not like real insults but he was giving some unpleasant reviews about FERRE GOLA.

HOLD UP! HOLD UP! I was defending my Congolese rhumba artist as if I could translate even a single track from his massive recorded albums. Guys, I don’t like losing but I had to let fools😄😄😄 win. I can’t even remember what the argument was all about but I remember being reduced to shouting KWENDAA(GO AWAY), HAKUNA(NOTHING), KWENDAA HUKO(GO AWAY).😔😠Anyway, such is life.

My visit to the Barbershop was prompted after I got to a salon and it was packed. My head felt so unkempt and either way, I wanted it presentable. My country people take Christmas so serious they can’t allow ‘son of man‘ be born while they are not presentable. Buying clothes, getting loans to go torment people in the upcountry and many humongous characters they rarely display in the middle of the year. Oh Christmas Fever.

Also, there are alleged roaming lions in my area. I can’t be a lion’s chistmas meal🙁, please pray for me guys. I don’t want to be eaten😔

OK, if I didn’t mention, am on night shift and I need to get going so let’s catch up later✌

 

#Blogmas Day 7 HE PROPOSED?

Am terrible at lying. Let alone coming up with one. Mostly I either get caught or just the lie sounds so damn that I have to tell the truth.

So before I left shags(upcountry) I was sat down in a certain eerie meeting that ended as I expected.

This year, (as everyone is putting it) I have learnt to stop telling people IT’S OK, IT’S FINE when they wrong me. They’ll take advantage and you’ll be giving them the chance to think that you can take any bullshit they throw at you. Am also at a point where I mind what I say, how I say it and who I tell. People are dealing with different struggles out here, how you package your words may make things either worse or better for them.

Back to the story. So, I got involved in some drama I don’t know how I allowed myself into and my dad was breathing fire on me. Fire like Dragon fire. Am aware am one of the toughest daughters he has to raise but sometimes people just step on your feet waiting for you to keep quiet or breathe rage on them. I chose a path anyone wasn’t expecting from me. SILENCE. I kept quiet like nothing happened and my silence ended up being misunderstood. Can’t a sister just keep quiet and have a moment? Can’t she just sit in that favorite sad corner and just think things through without being misunderstood? Seems like that’s too much to ask.

So, HE PROPOSED. He proposed so many things. TRUCE I think. Am working on forgiving people. I have had troubles with that and I keep a lot to heart. Even with the truce, I wasn’t willing to say yes but we are humans and we slip. Wish me luck guys, I may not get to the new year with a clean heart. It’s messed out here. Just hoping I don’t choke to people’s opinions of how I should leave. Let’s try this.

 

#Blogmas Day 6 Jet Lag, Holidays, Spoilt Phone

Assume that ‘jet lag‘ because I sat for the longest time in a bus to and fro Western sides of Kenya and don’t have any way of explaining the exhaustion. All that reminded me of my ‘unachieved‘ (Disclaimer:Don’t come for English lessons on my wall please) 2019 GOAL-LIST. Yes, I was to hit the gym or something like starting FITNESS JOURNEY. I went for a couple of morning jogs but I moved out and my new environment was/is intimidating.

Am back with this #blogmasgang hashtag and am not leaving it any soon. I skipped some days and that’s because I travelled upcountry.

Heee!! I couldn’t feel my back. My toes were swollen and I had bad headache upon reaching home. For the first time, I felt so nauseated while travelling I couldn’t take even a soft drink. The journey was long. I’ll still keep whining about it.

Thanks to everyone who reached out. I can’t start mentioning names here. Long list. Babu(Grandpa) was sent like a hero (that he was to us) to his resting place and we the family have found a way of coping with his absence, or maybe I have. It was nice at the same time saddening seeing all my relatives in such a large number. Sad because some of us live in the same cities but don’t have time for each other TILL DEATH DO US GATHER. Anyway, if that’s how we can wine and dine, fine with me. You can’t force some things.

A number of my relatives are extending their stay (Holidays) home for purposes of bonding. Am not. Unintentionally. Job demands my attention this season.

My phone also got spoilt and am open to those phone donations😜😜😜 because a sister doesn’t know how life will be without a phone in this Nairobi. December is such a mixed-feeling-month. A time to put too much into thought at the same time have time out to-feel-nothing, if that makes sense.

Am not that cultured that every year or should I say end-start year I come up with WISHLIST/GOAL LIST but I feel like this time round, am challenging myself. Spontaneously, let’s climb the ladder up.

Just hoping I keep up with whatever I started. Enjoy your read and sharing is caring.

#blogmasgang #seasonsgreetings #christmas

 

#Blogmas Day 5 Emotional😢

Some sparky cold running through my squishy bone marrow. It’s really one of those chilly wee hours that I spend at my work place, pulling the night shift . Neighborhood quiet with minimal movement from the main road that connects two counties- Nairobi and Kajiado.

Am just seated, well composed, waiting for the sky to brighten in order to count on how many hours I have to retire to my squeezed bedsitter crib. I don’t even know what’s going on my mind since I have a lot to think of. Festive Season full of mixed feelings. Hustling way through to make it to the new year loaded, planning on getting back on my feet and focus on projects I’ve been procrastinating on, going back to school and saddest of them all LAYING MY GRANDPA TO REST(this weekend)

Cloud of tears clog my eyes remembering how he left the same weekend I was to see him. TOO MUCH. Santa, what more should I expect this Christmas?

Am a fan of music or should I say I breathe music. Spontaneously I search and click what type I want to listen to this calm night and an old artist’s song pops on the recommendation. OCHIENG’ KABASELE. A local Kenyan artist I listened a lot when I was young. ‘Wuora Agolla Adoyo’ is the title of one of his saddest songs you can ever listen to. My heart feels so heavy. I want to blame myself for not making time earlier to see my grandfather. I don’t want to feel bad but it’s not that easy.

This weekend will be one of those trying moments. Facing reality.

Kwara koro ionge eeh, yawa iwewa kiye malich😢😭(Grandpa now you’re no more, you have left us as desperate orphans) Four generations. A lifetime achievement. REST WELL.

If you’re in Rongai and it’s outskirts though, please find your way to Smith Hotels. Some good deals starting this weekend. Oh, and Maroon Commandos, Zilizopendwa/Rhumba band will be performing, live. FREE ENTRY.

From my first #blogmas trial posts, my ‘I got conned‘ story really hooked some of y’all. Thanks🙏🏿

I might disappear some few coming days. Bear with me. Upcountry doesn’t know INTERNET.

Cheers #blogmasgang

#Blogmas Day 4 I won $10,000/ LAST EPISODE

So, if you think this was the first time I was being conned, you’re wrong. I’ve had several experiences. Sadly, I’ve even sent some my little earned penny. SHAME ON ALL OF THEM😠😠😠

Alafu people are also confessing how they’ve fallen prey to some of these scams. You’re not the only ones. When you think you’ve become vigilant and kuchanuka, tactics also change. There are also these scammers who ones got me off guard. ‘Nitumie kwa hii number ile ingine iko na shida ya MPESA”. (Send money to this number. The other line has technical issues with MPESA)

Since the start of this story, we didn’t give this scammer a name. Btw, he’s read the story and even laughed about it🖕🏿

So, the gifts were wrapped and tagged then ‘sent.’ Cuff (LE PRESIDENT DES ESCROCS)  yaani the president of scammers texted to confirm everything and even sent me pictures of the presentation. I had everything figured out. I’d sell the clothings(remember he was sending a sister presents and he knew very well where to hit the nail) he sent, give away the shoes and use the money (obviously)

He was so easy on the money being sent in that humongous box. Nikashuku. Why not just ask my account number then deposit whatever much you want. Lakini akili ndogo would never question. Si msichana wa wenyewe akaingia box. Sema furaha. He’d tell me how the cargo authorities will disturb and demand money before my luggage is released. “Just give them what they demand. You won’t even feel a pinch” Me, not feel a pinch? Mistaken identity

People, I started questioning everything when I was told to send Ksh. 3000 shillings to a certain number but my ujanja told me to ask for MPESA PAYBILL NUMBER. Calls after calls. Different numbers with different users and different ‘cargo agencies.’ Wueeeh!!! Nairobi si kwa akina mtu aki. You’d think the ‘gift‘ was expiring at the port or decomposing causing some discomfort.

I decided to travel and go pick the gift in person but it wasn’t to be when I got to the port and turned down. “There’s no such parcel neither can we verify it’s eligibility” Heee!!! My heart sank and I couldn’t feel my feet. The next thing I remember was contacting a CID friend😞😞😞 I felt cheated😜😜 Split of seconds, he established this guys location, his name.

I distracted myself by taking several pictures at the airport’s grounds. At least I had to make myself feel good after all those drama. Sema day spoilt. In my break time, just minding my business and posing to kill those instagram pics, security guards kwangu. I kept on saying I know my rights. Rights I couldn’t even quote😛😛😛 I was being pushed and asked to live the place immediately. Mimi ni nani. I can’t be a LUO and be timid. So I was fighting back. Dispensing all my stress that I had, accumulated and fermenting, at anyone who was moving close to me. Ikabidi nimetoka after showing all my toughness. Mimi si chezi karibu na hawa men in jungle green. NEFA(NEVER). That was a battle I wasn’t willing to participate in.

Btw, I was conned by someone who knew me. Someone who had monitored my movements, what I was doing and how I was doing it. I was conned by ONAGI 😠☹️. I even suspect we went to the same college. The least expected. He was almost earning my trust when I was convincing him to recruit me to the business. Si ninge nyonga kijana wa wenyewe😏 Anyway, sorry is not a magic eraser of wrongdoings. Today I can write, tell and even laugh about the whole experience. Ni sawa tu. 

Oh, and if you’ve been following this silently and asking me questions that are meant to make me feel bad, we’re in the festive season. A time to be happy to be alive.

Cheers to #blogmasgang. Personally, I enjoyed. 

#Blogmas Day 3 I won $10,000/ Arrested at the airport

If I’d measure the level of my psyche with a thermometer, the red mercury pigment would burst out with pressure. Yaani naskia tu ni record audio but then I can’t hold my laughter. As if I was happy on that day.

Tuliachia hii story wapi btw?🤔🤔🤔 Oh! At the airport and I also promised to tell how it all got started and how damn desperate I was to believe all the scam. Heee!!! Security guards at the airport entrance were also acting like some hungry nursery kids in the village who were denied nyuk omuogo (porridge). Heee!!! So, here’s the story.

A sister just moved out. Broke, hungry and confused. Am I blaming anyone? How can I even? So, in my broke-hungry-confused state, I was just scrolling through my Facebook wall with my spoilt 7-year old phone (Btw, my phone is too old am thinking of throwing it a survival party) then BOOM!!! Messenger beeps. If you know me well, am a social media snob. I won’t even defend myself. I know I am. I respond less to those “hey sweetie“, “you look good“, “you look familiar” kind of messages. Rare. Sometimes back I ever got blackmailed with some jokes I was spitting at friend’s boyfriend. Wueeeh!!! Mimi hapo naji console ati social media you can be ‘social‘ to anyone and everyone. That day I dialed WRONG NUMBER. 

Back to our story. So, the ‘pschuuu sound‘ of the messenger distracted me from a post I was deeply rooted in. Normally, I log on to Facebook to check on some story series I subscribed to, check on MEMES👍🏿 and also check on the progress of some Facebook Pages I manage. Lakini this day, SAITAN was ready for me. He had all the tactics planned well and even the ‘pshuuu’ sound, he planned to attract and distract me.

In no minute, numbers were being exchanged and a white guy was asking to send a sister some presents. Mimi ni nani? Karibu nipeane ata my bank account’s password.

Guys, nguvu inaniishia nikikumbuka venye I’d be an owner of iPHONE 11, a mac book and some nice jewelry. Aki don’t judge me🤣🤣🤣🤣 utoto was doing some hop-step-and-jump on me. So, the gifts were bought🤣 wrapped well and my name tagged. What a present! Heee!!! Jam sasa ikashika place pa goods to be received/picked.

Wueh!!! Let me get some tea niongeze nguvu or else I’ll be involved in the Governor Mike Sonko’s famous screaming challenge.

Blogmas Day 4…

#blogmasgang 

 

#Blogmas Day 2 I won $10,000

Before I write a whole speech here, let me just say am loving this blogmas thingie but am just afraid that this psyche will die like a pricked balloon. Hoping for the best lakini.

So, a sister won herself some chunk of money in the month of October and I can’t tell you how it felt. I conquered the world. I was willing to buy bouncers/bodyguards to just walk around with and slap my enemies one-by-one on the cheeks and see what they would do. $10,000 is not a joke. I REPEAT. THIS KIND OF MONEY IS NOT A JOKE.

Before I even received the money, I had planned on a few small business ideas. I saw myself in some TOP40UNDER40 BUSINESS SUMMITS spitting my chunky mind blowing business motivational speeches with the crowd drooling to my success. I imagined how those thunderous claps would make my cheeks stiff because of not being able to control my enormous smile. Was that too much of a dream?

Heee!!! Sema conman. Btw, I have receipts. Sema kiherehere! Sijakuwa na uwezo wa kupigia mtu this story apart from my bff who accompanied me to the grand pick up point. What still amazes me is how I got convinced till I travelled to Mombasa. Wueh! Life

The way I was being asked to fish out some 20k is what makes my nose moist. Let me not tell you all this. I might miss story for tomorrow but don’t worry. I have so much of them to tell.

Let’s say this is Season1 Episode 1. I’ll tell y’all how it started and how I almost got arrested at the airport….DRAMA

#blogmasgang